The Meditation Project

Well, I “fell off the (meditation) wagon” this week. Six fifteen in the morning came and I slept on. I think it must have been my son’s case of croup that had me up in the night, or the upcoming holiday/spring break preparation or something. I had every intention to wake up to practice. I am surprised how naturally I fell back into sleeping in and then waking up and jumping into the day without a thought of what I had committed to.

I attended the Good Friday service of darkness, scripture and music at church this week. In the Good Friday scripture passages, everyone (excepting Jesus) has some fault. The disciples are betraying Jesus. Peter even curses and swears that he does not know him when pressed. The story is ugly- casting lots for his clothes, taunts coming from the ones who are being crucified beside Christ. When you really listen, it is shocking. The story is so ugly in fact that I have often moved on quickly past Good Friday to the joy of Easter morning. But Good Friday is about screw-ups like me - that’s the whole point right?

I both reveled in the darkness of the Good Friday service and was frustrated by it. The darkness allowed me to focus in a new way in church, blocking out all that you normally see. But I was also wishing that I could see the bulletin and know what was coming up next or what the title to that instrumental song is. In the Easter story, the disciples were “in the dark” for sure, not knowing, not understanding the unfolding events. Centering prayer has me “in the dark” to an extent - certainly not in control.

Dealing with our imperfection, being “in the dark”- we don’t want to spend much time with these. But spending time struggling with my own humanity points me to my need for God and Christ and leaves me thankful that “He is Risen!”.